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"Tell the chef, the beer is on me."
“ We are all so busy judging our own bodies that there is little energy left over to judge other people’s. ”— Searching for Sex - NYTimes.com
“ People interested in being "brutally honest" often seem more interested in the brutality part. ”— llamataboot @ Hacker News
“ The confidence we had in [our predictions] was not affected by a statistical fact we knew to be true — that our predictions were unrelated to the truth. ...— Don’t Blink! The Hazards of Confidence - NYTimes.com
Facts that challenge basic assumptions — and thereby threaten people’s livelihood and self-esteem — are simply not absorbed. ... People are often blind to their own blindness. ...
To know whether you can trust a particular intuitive judgment, there are two questions you should ask:
1. Is the environment in which the judgment is made sufficiently regular to enable predictions from the available evidence?
2. Do the professionals have an adequate opportunity to learn the cues and the regularities? [i.e. a lot of practice making predictions, and a tight feedback loop to learn their accuracy.] ”
“ Resiliency comes from an ability to realistically analyze setbacks, which often have complex causes. People who aren't resilient have a variety of unhealthy tendencies, listed from the most unhealthy to the least:— Michael O. Church: Why are some people more resilient than others? - Quora”
- Internalize the rejection. ("It happened because I'm a loser.") This leads to depression and implosion.
- Exaggerate the damage or long-lasting nature (perceived autocorrelation) of the rejection. ("Now that I got fired, I'll never get another job.") This leads to bitterness and "cold" anger, which is more dangerous than the "hot" kind because it's long-lasting and tends toward generalization.
- Get angry about it. ("It happened because he is an asshole.") This leads to "hot" anger and, often, stupid behaviors (revenge).
- Prematurely generalize about the environment. ("It happened because <industry X> is full of sharks.") This doesn't usually impair general psychological health, but it creates an inaccurate model of the world and leads to sub-optimal choices and lost opportunities in the future.
“ People who insult you are giving you a blueprint as to what makes them insecure. ”— Twitter / mightymur
“ People interpret criticism completely differently depending on how they see the relationship between themselves and the critic. ...— How do you tell when the news is biased? It depends on how you see yourself » Nieman Journalism Lab
If we can find a way to tell our stories outside of partisan frames, we might reduce feelings of unfairness. The trick would be to shy away from invoking divisive identities, preferring frames that allow members of a polarized audience to see themselves as part of the same group. ”
“ Almost everyone is practically malnourished when it comes to ambition. ... Most people don't know how ambitious to be, especially when they're young. They don't know what's hard, or what they're capable of. This problem is exacerbated by having few [ambitious] peers. ... When you take people like this and put them together with other ambitious people, they bloom like dying plants given water. ”— Paul Grahan: The Anatomy of Determination
“ The more willful you are, the more dangerous it is to be undisciplined. In some very energetic people's lives you see something like wing flutter, where they alternate between doing great work and doing absolutely nothing. Externally this would look a lot like bipolar disorder. ”— Paul Graham: The Anatomy of Determination
“ I performed at colleges and scanned the room for what I could take. Even a box of chalk slipped into my pocket reassured me that I still had my freedom—the freedom to steal, to self-destruct, to ruin everything. ”— Miranda July: Shoplifting to Stay Free (The New Yorker)
“ Consider for a moment how many adults you know in therapy, how many with estranged relationships with their families, distorted views of their personality or even more simply how many totally ill-equipped to interact with strangers with any level of confidence. The number of socially inept, emotionally off-balance adults I know far outweighs the number of adults I know who can’t read, or do basic math. ... How it is I know the capitals of states I’ve never been to or the mundane likely-fabricated life details of presidents who died hundreds of years ago but I don’t know for certain what the best way is to deal with someone who is sad?— Dallas Clayton”
Rarely if ever do our kids get to spend any substantial amount of time working on any sort of emotional development. ... If speech can be refined, vocabulary built, and language elevated what about a child’s emotional well being?I decided to test this theory, treating emotional building blocks the same way you might treat guitar lessons...
“ The ability to think about what is not happening is a cognitive achievement that comes at an emotional cost. ... People consistently reported being happiest when their minds were on what they were doing. ”— io9: Letting your mind wander is a major cause of unhappiness
"Tell the chef, the beer is on me."
"Basically the price of a night on the town!"
"I'd love to help kickstart continued development! And 0 EUR/month really does make fiscal sense too... maybe I'll even get a shirt?" (there will be limited edition shirts for two and other goodies for each supporter as soon as we sold the 200)